I’ve amassed a ton of information throughout the years.
Are you a scientist? No, I’m simply a lady who has been in a lot of relationships, talked to a lot of people about relationships and not, and taken lessons from all of them.
After conducting study for more than two decades, I’ve lately developed what I like to refer to as HICCUPS, which is more like a recipe. It consists of seven essential components that, when combined, produce a long-lasting, healthy connection.
The ingredients are as follows:
Love is brutally honest and up forward. The structure of trust in a relationship that is based on honesty is unbreakable.
Respect is bred by trust and honesty. It’s important to respect your partner. Love can’t last if there isn’t respect. Be truthful at all costs. If
Similar Intellectual Viewpoints
There must be friendship between two people—not necessarily similar thinking, but equal thinking. The smarty/bimbo combination has a limited shelf life.
You will always have topics to discuss and joke about if you share the same intellectual interests. In turn, you won’t become tired of one other, which is essential if you want to stay together when the kids leave the nest and erectile dysfunction starts.
It will keep you cumming for a lifetime to be able to give each other a mind-gasm because it is more explosive and long-lasting than a physical one.
“We never quarrel or clash.” That is not something to take pride in. It raises an alarm.
Lack of conflict between a relationship indicates mistrust. both or either ignoring their own thoughts and feelings in favor of their spouse in an effort to avoid the awkwardness of conversation. These partnerships won’t endure since there isn’t any trust and there is a lot of fear.
Examine your connection and consider the following:
Do we each possess the capacity to pay attention and sort through the words, the sobs, or the rants to understand what our spouse is trying to say to us?
Are we prepared to put aside our need to be correct and respect one another’s emotions?
For those who are averse to conflict, concentrate on the answer because the resolution, not the disagreement, is what counts. Healthy relationships allow for discomfort since the participants are aware of their commitment into finding a solution Because they are confident that their spouse is equally devoted to finding a solution, people in healthy relationships can tolerate some discomfort. The desire to succeed is what breaks apart a relationship. Being able to listen helps relationships grow. When both sides of an argument feel heard, the argument will end.
There is peace when everyone feels heard. There is perspective when there is peace. Perspective inevitably leads to regret. While offering an apology is necessary, accepting it is much more crucial.
How is the apology received by the recipient? Does he or she accept the apology and let go of any leftover animosity and bitterness that could otherwise fester? Contempt will creep into the relationship if he or she rejects the apologies. Once The connection is over once there is contempt.
It takes skill to fight honestly and fairly. It is a lifetime habit. When partners are fully devoted to the relationship, they will make an effort to communicate well and view any differences as chances to strengthen their connection.
4. Make a deal
A relationship is only as joyful as its least content member, and its most content member is the center of the two. One person may occasionally need to journey a bit further to the center than the other, as is known to mature relationship partners. Because they are confident that the other will follow suit when it is their turn, they are prepared to make the journey. because they are confident that when their turn comes, the other person will act similarly.
When a compromise is required, consider: “Which is more important to me—my need for peace or my desire to get my way? What can I do right now to create harmony?”
When you think and act with your relationship’s wellbeing in mind, you will always opt for compromise, even if it means going a little further than your partner. This is because you are aware that if your partner is unhappy, you will be unhappy, too, and your relationship will suffer as a result.
Even if you now know your partner, you did not grow up in the same household as them. You weren’t a direct participant in his or her life. Everyone’s environment shapes and conditions them. Either directly or indirectly, our parents instruct us in how to interact with others and carry out daily tasks.
Your spouse and you both have different requirements and communication styles when you first start dating. It’s crucial that you comprehend and embrace your differences as his or her spouse. Study them like a foreign language and learn their language with the same fervor you would your favorite activity rather than expecting them to speak the way you do. As you develop your ability to “speak their language,” this will prevent you from entering the gates of criticism and annoyance.
You don’t own someone. No one is under your power either. No matter how hard you attempt to control or persuade someone else, they won’t respond or react the way you want them to. Each person thinks, feels, and acts in their own time and manner.
They will feel under strain if you try to accelerate their process or force them to accomplish something they don’t want to. A person feels uncomfortable, unwanted, and unable to love while they are under pressure. They won’t be themselves anymore, because being untrue to oneself is a sign of dishonesty. Without honesty, a relationship and love both end.
I refer to the seventh component as “sex,” but it goes beyond simple sexual activity. It’s warmth, friendliness, attentiveness, and affection. Reciprocity (an equal exchange of services) and the desire to make your partner feel special and wanted are the two components that make up sex. An individual feels wanted when they are safe, cherished, and free (here we go with the freedom bit again).
Because the partners in a relationship stop feeling special, desirable, and acknowledged by the other, sex and all of its components evaporate.